Don't Want to Suffer
by sKeWeD
Summary: Sakura has given up, or has she? Just then, someone comes back. Trouble follows him as well. Will anything work out? Or will they just have to suffer... I suck at summaries, rated for language. May be R for suicidal themes and violence later...R/R, please
1. Default Chapter

    _Ohayo, everybody! This is my first ficcie, so flames are totally welcome. I really suck at this kind of thing, and I'm hoping that I can get better at this writing thing… Please r/r people! BTW, this is not rated R because it's a citrus, just for language, violence, blood, and suicidal themes. It's actually not that sad… Yet._

Prologue 

  ~Sakura's P.O.V.~

  It's been a long time. Too long. I don't think I can wait any longer. I don't know if he's still there or even ALIVE. Does he remember me…? Or have I been forgotten? I don't want to think about it; it hurts too much.  Maybe, just maybe, he still feels the way I do. I really hope so…

  " You wish, girl. How could he remember you? He left three years ago. You hear that? THREE. You still think he loves you? HA. He still has a fiancée, remember that," the voice of doubt echoes through my head.

  I scream and cover my ears, trying to drive away the voice. "It's not true! It can't be! He promised me! He promised that he'd come back… He promised…" I sink down to the floor, sobbing. I've realized something. My conscious is right. He's gone, and I'm alone to face the world. He'll never come back… Never.

  I break down and cry again, even though I try to stop the tears. The salty water drips down my face and I savor the deep sadness. Why can't I go on? He's just one guy; I can make it without him. I want to forget, to erase those memories, without anyone else's help. I need Syaoran, he is my one and only.

  ~Normal P.O.V.~

  Sakura continued the silent, heart wrenching, sobs throughout the rest of the evening. She was confused and tired. It was like everything was lost to her, and she was lost to the rest of the world.

  Suddenly, the phone rang and she looked up, shocked. Who would be phoning late at night? Odosan and Touya weren't even home.

  Quickly, she ran to the phone, as she wiped her eyes and tried to calm her breathing. She didn't want anyone to worry about her.

  She picked up the phone, before it could wake Kero, who was sleeping in her room. "Mushi mushi?" Her voice sounded breathless and it quavered. Just great. She sounded like someone with a cold or something.

  "Sakura-chan? Is that you?" The voice on the other side sounded deep and almost… Caring. Or so it seemed to Sakura, who was still lost in the delirium of her sadness.

  "Aoki-kun? Why are you phoning so late at night?" she asked her voice now calm and normal sounding. Sakura thought it sounded much better.

  There was laughter on the other line. It was bright, pealing, and happy. It almost made Sakura want to join in. "Call me by my first name, Sakura. Call me Shiinkai."

  "Okay… Shiinkai…"

  "Umm, Sakura are you busy tomorrow night? I was just wondering if you'd like to… Go to the movie theater or something with me…"

  There was a long silence. Sakura was wondering if she should accept. It would be cruel to turn him down, after he had been so kind at her to school. He was so kind from the very beginning; it was so unlike Syaoran. She remembered Syaoran's cool glare and something tugged at her heart.

  "Well, if you're really all that busy…" Shiinkai had misunderstood her silence.

  "No wait!" Sakura said, quickly. It was now or never. "Yes, I'll go with you."

  "Alright," his voice sounded cheerful, " I'll come over at around seven. See ya!"

  Sakura hung up the phone and sunk down to the carpeted floor with her head in her hands. She sighed. What had she just gotten herself in to? Then again, maybe it was meant to be. She'd find someone else, and so would Syaoran. It was fate, and everything would turn out fine. Just fine.

  Well, that's the end of the prologue! It's short, I know, but I'm kinda busy right now. I'll probably have more time next week. PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE!!! 


	2. Reunion Sort Of

  Well, no one reviewed… Oh well. I hope it's not THAT bad. Anyway, everyone is at school and a certain 'someone' shows up. Of course, this might not be the person you think it is…

**Chapter One: Reunion… Sort Of…**

~Normal P.O.V.~

   It was morning and very sunny outside at school. There was still half an hour until the beginning, but surprisingly, Sakura was already there.

  "On today's episode, our lovely Sakura-chan seems to have finally found out how her alarm clock works." A pale girl with raven hair giggled as she held up her mini camcorder. However (as usual), Sakura didn't seem to notice.

  Tomoyo smiled as the thoughts flooded her mind. Her home collection was getting bigger and bigger. She could make copies… Sell them to people… Suddenly, two strong arms from behind her interrupted her thoughts, as they slipped around her waist and pulled her towards their owner.

  "Hello, my dear. Are you at it again?" asked a boy with blue hair and glasses. He buried his face in her long, silky hair.

  "Eriol, not now!" protested Tomoyo. "I need to keep filming, and if you make so much noise, precious Sakura is going to notice!"

  "Actually, I wouldn't be to sure of that…" They both looked back at Sakura. She was sitting at her desk with her head propped up by her hand. She was looking outside of the window with a daydreaming look across her face.

  ~Sakura's P.O.V.~

  I look outside the window, and I can see the trees sway in the breeze, their green leaves dancing. Green… I remember that color. It was Syaoran's favorite, but I think that other than pink, I love amber. Those beautiful amber and chocolate brown eyes…

  No! Stop! I can't think about Syaoran anymore. I have a boyfriend now, and Syaoran is just a friend. Just a friend…

  Maybe not even a friend anymore. I've written to him, I've called; I've even tried email. He never answers his mail and he's never at home when I phone. I'm starting to get worried.

  Then again, maybe it was all for the better. Sometimes, if I try hard enough, I won't even think about him! I don't worry for long hours at night, and I don't even cry as much anymore. For once, I'm even actually on time by half an hour! Touya says that I should stop thinking about that 'stupid Chinese gaki', and that he'll beat the pulp out of him if he ever sees him again. That's Touya, I guess, the caring brother.

  My boyfriend has just walked in to the room. He smiles at me, and I wave back. Shiinkai has beautiful gold eyes. When he looks at me, they always seem so caring and warm… Kami-sama, I LOVE my boyfriend…

  What am I talking about? I miss Syaoran like crazy! Every single morning, I sit by the mailbox and wait for the mailman to come. I hope, that one day, he'd just reply my letters. He never does; never, and because of that, every night, those stupid tears run down my face and I can't stop them.

  As for Shiinkai, do I really love him? Do I still love Syaoran? I DON'T KNOW! I'm all confused! I don't know if I miss Syaoran as a friend, or if my heart needs him to go on. As for Shiinkai, when I'm around him, I feel warm. I just don't get that feeling… That ONE special feeling that I used to get… I can't even explain it, but it felt so- good. I don't feel that way anymore. Everything just makes me tired, or makes me want to cry. I don't think I can last much longer. I HAVE to make up my mind.

~Eriol's P.O.V.~

  She's so beautiful. I love the way she laughs, the way she smiles, even the way she obsesses about everything. Her pale skin, her hair, her violet eyes… Everything about her makes my knees go weak. Right now, all I want to do is…

  Snap out of it! You're in class right now; remember? Besides, thinking this way is not an honorable way for 'Clow Reed' to act. If Suppi-chan saw this… I'd never hear the end of it…

  I look to see what Tomoyo is staring at. It's Sakura, figures. Sakura is now gazing at the wall, oblivious to us, and the rest of her surroundings. I'm really starting to worry about her, she just gets paler everyday, and she looks tired, even though she's starting to get to school on time.

  Tomoyo's worried too, but we tried asking her already. Sakura just smiled and said that we were imagining things. I wonder what's going on… I might have to use my powers again. I haven't been using them lately, I've been so busy going out with Tomoyo and all, but…

  Wait a minute! Does Sakura really like that Aoki all that much? I wonder if she misses Syaoran… Where is my cute descendant, anyway?

  ~Normal P.O.V.~

  The sensei walked in to the room. Everyone stood up to greet her, and then sat back down.

  "Good morning, class! I have an announcement to make! Today, we'll be joined by a classmate who has come all the way back from Hong Kong!" she said.

  Eriol and Tomoyo exchanged happy glances as Sakura sat upright in her seat, shocked. Everyone turned to the doorway, when a person walked in.

  "Hi everybody!" the person wasn't wearing the school uniform, and instead, was wearing red Chinese robes. Her black hair was done up in pigtails and she wore a huge grin.

  "Hoe?!!"

  ~Later, outside at lunch~

  "Meilin, is Syaoran coming back?" asked Tomoyo, casually.

  "Of course he is! He just has to take care of a few things, and he'll be back next week! Of course, he's not my fiancé anymore, but that's all right. I understand how he feels now, and I think I JUST might have found 'Mr. Right'," she said excitedly.

  "Really?"

  "I'll take you to meet him sometime…! Why are you asking about Syaoran?" she asked, suspiciously. "Is there something that I should know?"

  Tomoyo looked around, hoping that Sakura wouldn't hear. Little did she know, Sakura had gone home saying that she didn't feel very well. Tomoyo began to whisper to Meilin as she nodded her head in agreement.

~Someone else's P.O.V.~

  Those two idiot girls are whispering about 'him'. He's finally come back, and after all this waiting, I'll finally get what I deserve. I'll have my vengeance, I swear I will. 

  How dare they, go around using what is rightfully _mine_. When I get it back, they shall all pay! Every single one of those stupid mortals who have anything to do with him…

  Hmm. Where shall I start?

  Well, that's the end of the first chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! My life depends on it.


	3. Surprise

  Hi again! Thanks to Empress Wafflefairy and her cousins who reviewed! E.W, your praise is going to spoil me one of these days. Hell no, this is crap compared to other fics, but I'm glad you like it so far.

_  I guess I should put Syaoran in the story now (finally). Please tell me if it should end with S+S. I haven't decided yet._

Chapter 2: Surprise 

~Meilin's P.O.V.~

  I still don't believe Daidouji. Sakura CAN'T give up already! It's taken so long just to get them together in the first place. If Syaoran didn't love her so much, I swear I'd pummel her. This would hurt him so much? Doesn't she already understand how he feels? He's been fighting with Obasan for months, just to come back to Japan.

  "Who's the bastard?" I ask. I shouldn't call Sakura's boyfriend that, because after all, I should feel a little sorry for him. Syaoran's going to kill him…

  Daidouji just points to a guy playing soccer with the rest of the guys. I have to admit, Sakura doesn't have bad taste. Let's see… He's tall, cute, and has wavy blond hair. He seems to be friendly, and he's REALLY good at soccer. But what about Syaoran?

~Normal P.O.V.~

  After school, Sakura walked home alone. Tomoyo was on her date with Eriol, and Kero was fast asleep in her bag, giving little, contented, snores. He had stayed up too late, trying to beat another one of his video games. She smiled, peeking into her bag to make sure that he was all right. As she walked along the sidewalk the cars whizzed by, and the leaves of the trees floated to the ground underneath her feet.

  "What am I going to do? I like Shiinkai- a lot, but I still can't stop thinking about Syaoran. Kami-san, why are you doing this to me?!! Why?"

  Eventually, she decided, everything would work out. If Syaoran didn't come back, then she'd just be able to forget about him. After all, when Meilin had come back, Syaoran wasn't there with her. So it was safe to assume that she'd never see him again. Was that really a good thing, though?

  Sakura passed by the park with the penguin slide, when she noticed a figure sitting by the swings, looking lonely. It was getting late, and the sun was beginning to set, but Sakura wanted to make sure that the person was okay. She still loved to help other people.

  She couldn't see the person's face, because the vermilion colored sun was right behind the park. Still, she ran up to the swing set, anyway. When she reached them, she finally got a good look at the figure- and almost fell over in surprise.

  "…Syaoran…?"

Haha… Okay maybe I didn't really put him in this chapter. So sue me. I'm just busy right now, but it's not like anyone is reading this crap. I'm sorry, I'm just in a bad mood today. Ja ne!


	4. I'm Sorry

  Whoa! I didn't know people were actually going to read this (lol). Thanks very much!!! I feel so loved! Hehe…

_HanaTenshiHimeko: Thanks SO much! Umm I think that your question will be answered in this chapter._

_LilBabu: Thanks for the encouragement! As for the mysterious person, you'll just have to wait and see. BTW, P.O.V. stands for point of view… Well that's how I use it, anyway._

********************************************************

  **Chapter 4: I'm Sorry******

"…Syaoran…?"

  He smiled gently, his messy, brown, hair covering his eyes. "My Ying Fa…" Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

  Sakura gasped, surprised. He felt so good… So warm… Yet nothing else. She used to have this feeling whenever he was around. The feeling was uncomfortable… But so 'right'…

  _Sorry, I've never had that feeling before so… Yeah…_

"Li-kun, please. Let me go." She forced herself to look away, anywhere, from his eyes. She took one glance, and saw the hurt reflected in the amber. "I'm sorry, Li-kun. I'm so sorry…" Though she tried hard to stop, the cold, salty, tears poured down her cheeks once again. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Many nights were spent dreaming of this day, but it had been different. When he hugged and kissed her, she had that _feeling_. It was gone.

  "Sakura? Tell me! What's wrong? What have I done?" He seemed nervous, and tried to get her to look him straight in the eye.

  She stared at the dark ground. "Don't you understand? I've waited for so long, but you never came. I never heard from you all these years. You can't just come back into my life like nothing ever happened! You had me worried sick!"

  Syaoran stood up. He was already about a head taller than her. "I was busy training! You know that!"

  Sakura slowly began to back away. She had to get home, and quick, to think things over. She didn't want to say the wrong thing anymore. "I couldn't wait… I'm sorry…" She ran off, crying, leaving a bewildered Syaoran standing in the dark.

**********Syaoran's P.O.V.**********

  She couldn't wait. Why? Why did the elders have to take so long to train me? It was like I was stuck inside that room for eternity, and the days were quickly passing by without my noticing. Why did they have to do this? I already failed by not bringing back the cards…

  No. I can't blame them; it's entirely my fault. I'm stronger now. I could've fought them. I could've disobeyed. Why should I be afraid of them?

  This isn't the way I wanted it to be. I thought we could be happy together again. I guess I was wrong. She probably hates me now. Maybe I should just go home- No I can't. I fought with my own mother to get here, and I'm not giving up. I'll win Sakura back! I promise.

  _ Okay, so maybe he doesn't really get it. Yet._

**********Mysterious Person's P.O.V.**********

  Ah yes. They are apart. They may be strong together, but nothing can save them now. I think I'll make it slow, and painful. They deserve it; it's my payback time. I'll start with the boy. This will be easy.

**********Normal P.O.V.**********

  Eriol sat on the couch, cuddling with Tomoyo. He stared, mesmerized at the dancing, golden, flames in the fireplace.

  "Eriol-kun? What are you thinking about?" Tomoyo asked as she snuggled up closer to his warm sweater.

  "No, it's nothing at all. I was just thinking of how beautiful you are."

  She faked an insulted look. "Excuse me?!! That's considered _nothing at all_?" She threw a pillow at him, hard. It hit him in the face.

  Eriol just grinned, planning a counter-attack. Quickly, he forgot about the strange aura he had sensed earlier.

  _ Okay, that's about it for now. It sucked. I know… Tsk tsk._**__**


End file.
